sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize