oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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