Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
