the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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