I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she smelled like a LAN party
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
