I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
