How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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