I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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