you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
