that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
