see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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