i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Welp...herpes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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