If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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