He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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