I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize