He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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