I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
