Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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