the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
