thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
