I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
