I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
