There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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