Will you blow on my dice?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
