becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
