Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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