you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need moral support for this bender
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
