we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
