I must be too annoying 4 u.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
