whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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