I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What a dumb baby whore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
