I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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