We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
