The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize