No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
