chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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