He is an equal opportunity slut.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
