She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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