Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
