My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
