Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
