He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
