If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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