marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
