Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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