is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
