I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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