A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
