Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
