There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize