my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
