So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
