In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
