Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
