he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Randomize