After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
