There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
BRING THE BAGELS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
