She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
