trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
