she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
