Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bring me that man meat
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
