Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
