tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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