I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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