i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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