; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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