Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize