Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
