So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize