I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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