Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize