Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
