I looked at my own cervix.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
