yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
