i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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