You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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