it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize